roles we play (Scapegoat and Golden Child)
(Listen to this song clicking here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9YB7gXi1As)
In a dysfunctional’s family’s home truths are seldom told,
They cast the roles like broken masks, in stories bitter cold.
And you’re the one they’ve marked with blame, cast aside without a trace,
But in the fires they’ve lit for you, there’s something strong you’ll learn to face.
The roles we play, the games we learn, in fractured homes we roam,
The scapegoat finds the light within, while others build on stone.
But in the fire, he finds his steel, In every wound, a chance to heal,
What was meant to break, instead reveals, the strength that time can’t conceal.
The golden child’s a fragile queen, wears a crown of praise and lies,
Sheltered from the winds of life, beneath deluded skies.
But comfort is a prison cell, with bars of gilded gold,
And when the storms of fortune rise, their spirit’s bought and sold.
The roles we play, the masks we wear, in stories deeply flawed,
The scapegoat climbs the mountain high, while others kneel to fraud.
Adversity, the bitter gift, that tempers heart and mind,
In trials faced and darkness met, true virtue’s path we find.
Oh, they can try to burn you, but you rise above the flame,
Turn their poison into power, wear the scars without the shame.
What they used to crush your spirit, only forged your heart of stone,
For it’s in the role of scapegoat that the seeds of strength are sown
Golden child, you shine so bright, but the light is just a haze,
Cushioned by their empty praise, lost inside that gilded maze.
Never felt the sting of truth, never touched by bitter cold,
But the winds of life are ruthless, and that warmth won’t keep you whole.
To live beyond the roles we play, to see what’s truly there,
Requires a gaze that pierces through, the family’s vacant stare.
To break the cycle, walk alone, through deserts dry and cold,
Is to reclaim the life that’s ours, unchained by lies of old.
So let them heap the scorn on me, let them cast their stones,
For in the echoes of their blame, my spirit’s seeds are sown.
What they meant to break in me, has only made me whole,
For in the struggle and the loss, I’ve found my solid soul.
To those who walk the path alone, who bear the weight of all that blame,
Know that what you carry now becomes your strength, not just your pain.
And to the ones adorned with gold, beware the crumbling throne you seek,
For the fortress built on praises will betray you when you’re weak.
Oh, the irony in the roles we play,
Where virtue blooms from disarray.
The golden child in gilded chains,
The scapegoat free from others’ claims.
What hinders now will guide our way,
Through adversity, we rise and stay.
So let them cast their stones and blame,
For in this fire, we find our flame.
The roles they gave, we now reclaim,
With virtue’s strength, we write our name.
Through every trial, every pain,
The soul ascends, the spirit gains,
No golden crown, no gilded fame,
Can match the heart that stands unchained.
The roles we play, they fall away, as truth begins to shine,
The scapegoat, once a castaway, now stands on virtue’s line.
For strength is born in silent wars, where character is free,
And freedom’s found within the heart, where no false praises be.
The roles they give us blind them, but they teach us how to see,
That true strength is found in hardship, and in virtue, we are free.
So walk your road with courage, let the winds of truth be known,
For the scapegoat stands unbroken, and the seeds of strength are grown.
Comment
There is a deep irony in the roles that dysfunctional families assign to their members. The scapegoat, cast out and burdened with blame, often becomes the one who develops the virtues of resilience, courage, and wisdom. What is intended as a punishment transforms into an opportunity, turning obstacles into stepping stones toward the cultivation of a strong and virtuous character. Conversely, the one who is pampered and praised — the so-called golden child — may find themselves deprived of the trials necessary for growth. Shielded from hardship, they often lack true strength, leaving them vulnerable to the whims of fortune and the shifting opinions of others.
The true tragedy lies in the illusions perpetuated by these roles. By projecting faults onto the scapegoat, the family refuses to confront its own flaws, thus avoiding the growth that adversity naturally demands. This avoidance reinforces the very patterns that lead to ongoing suffering. The roles of scapegoat and golden child serve only to deepen the family’s delusion, distorting their perception of reality and stunting both emotional and psychological development.
The consequences of such delusion are profound. Without accountability, growth is impossible, and without growth, the family remains trapped in a cycle of dysfunction. The golden child, shielded from criticism, may enter adulthood unprepared for life’s challenges, their sense of worth tied to a fragile illusion. Meanwhile, the family’s projection of its faults onto the scapegoat allows them to evade the difficult but necessary work of self-examination, ensuring that these dysfunctional patterns are passed down through generations.
Ultimately, the roles assigned by a dysfunctional family may seem to bring a temporary sense of order, but they ultimately undermine the true potential of all involved. To break free from these imposed identities, to see ourselves and others as we truly are, requires courage, self-reflection, and a commitment to the pursuit of virtue. Only then can we transcend the limitations imposed by these roles, living in accordance with our true nature, unshaken by external judgments and guided by the steady light of reason.
Adversity, often seen as a burden, is in truth our greatest teacher. What we call obstacles are not to be lamented but embraced, for they are the forge in which our character is tempered. What hinders action becomes an opportunity for action. To be cast into the role of the scapegoat is to be offered a path to resilience, wisdom, and strength — gifts that far surpass the fleeting approval of others. The hardships endured in this role are not without purpose; they shape the soul, making it firm, unshakable, and self-sufficient.
True power lies not in the external markers of status or the praise of those around us, but in the cultivation of inner virtue. To seek validation from others is to build one’s identity on an unstable foundation, easily shattered by the shifting opinions of the crowd. Those who are elevated by the praises of others often find themselves enslaved by these very praises, fragile and dependent. But the one who is rejected, who must look inward for strength, approaches the ideal of a life guided by reason and virtue. The loss of external favor is nothing when the soul is fortified by its own integrity.
We must remain indifferent to the judgments of others, for these are beyond our control and of no consequence to our true nature. It is a profound error to value the opinion of others more than the knowledge of our own character. The mind that is focused on its own development, on acting with justice, temperance, and wisdom, is not disturbed by the fleeting thoughts of others. To rise above the perceptions of those who misunderstand or condemn us is the mark of true wisdom and strength.
What matters is not what happens to us, but how we choose to respond. We must recognize that the opinions and actions of others are outside our control, and thus of no concern to us. Our task is to focus on what is within our control: our thoughts, our actions, and our character. By mastering these, we find peace and strength, regardless of the storms that rage around us.
There is a great danger in relying on external validation, for it distracts from the cultivation of true virtue. Those who are praised and placed upon a pedestal may find themselves trapped, their sense of worth tied to the fickle opinions of others. Such a foundation is unstable, and when the applause fades, as it inevitably does, they are left with nothing. True freedom lies in the ability to detach from these external trappings and focus solely on the pursuit of virtue.
Adversity, then, is a path to freedom. Through the trials we face, we learn to master ourselves, to detach from the opinions and judgments of others, and to live in accordance with our own reasoned principles. This is the path to true autonomy and self-mastery, a path often obscured by comfort and ease. The one who has faced hardship and emerged stronger possesses a freedom that those who have been sheltered from adversity can scarcely imagine.
